Clarity: A Young Adult Paranormal Vampire Romance (Blood Haze Book 4)

  Clarity

  Blood Haze: Book Four

  By Tara Shuler

  http://www.TaraShuler.com

  © Copyright 2014, Tara Shuler, All Rights Reserved

  Dmitri has become a very real threat to Alice and those she loves most. Now that he has taken the talisman, the Council has no idea what he has planned. But they must find out, and quickly!

  As time ticks dangerously away, they stumble across what they believe could be his true motive, and if they’re right, it could mean the end of Alice. To bring about his plan… Alice must die.

  With her life in danger and the Council running out of time, Alice discovers the darkness that had burrowed its way inside her when she practiced dark magic is still there, lurking deep inside her, chomping its way through her and aching to explode forth. Her own abilities are potentially linked to the darkness now, and if she uses them, it could unleash a darkness that could consume her soul forever.

  Can they keep Alice safe from the manic that intends to take her life to bring forth his dastardly plan? And how can they defeat the powerful Dmitri now that he has the talisman, when Alice can no longer make use of her abilities?

  Alice, Alexi, Liam, Kai, Max, Jamie, Will, and many more must join forces to stop him before it’s too late, and before Alice is lost forever.

  This book is dedicated to Bobby, the one and only love of my life.

  Prologue

  They say in everyone’s life comes a moment of clarity. Well, I finally got mine.

  I had grown up a lot since that scared seventeen-year-old girl just starting high school for the first time. I had suddenly come to realize there was some intense pull between Alexi and me – something I couldn’t explain. Over the course of the months I’d known him, my feelings for him had slowly evolved and morphed from hate, to tolerance, to friendship, and finally into love.

  Some may say it happened too fast, that I made a hasty decision and acted impetuously. They would be right if my circumstances were normal. However, my circumstances have always been far outside the norm, even for a vampire.

  In the case of Alexi, I slowly came to realize that he’d been right all along. Fate had intended for us to be together, and nothing anyone did could have stopped it. I didn’t choose to be with him because I thought it was fate, or because his father had seen us together. I didn’t even marry him because I was afraid he would die if I didn’t. I simply realized I loved him, and I knew in my heart that nothing would ever change that.

  It was a long, hard road to come to that realization. Perhaps my feelings for Kai clouded things. Perhaps my immaturity made it difficult to understand the turmoil of emotions that raged inside my heart. For a while, it was nearly impossible to separate friendship from love. To me, a young girl with very little experience interacting with others outside my own family, love was a feeling that made you feel warm inside when you were near someone. That is all that I knew. Thus, it was perhaps too easy for me to believe I was in love with Kai when we’d only just met. It was too simple to mistake the admiration I had for Max as love.

  When it came to Alexi, my judgment was flawed. With my desire to do right by Kai, with his gentle, caring heart and tormented past, it was exceedingly difficult to see just how deeply my feelings for Alexi went. It wasn’t until I thought I might lose him that I realized he was everything. Suddenly, everything made sense. I realized that I never wanted to face another day without him, and I realized just how badly he’d been hurting inside all those months when his own feelings went unreturned.

  We all make mistakes. As a teenager, my mind was befuddled by Kai’s sensitivity and overwhelmed by his tragic past. It was tainted by Max’s model-like attractiveness, and his nurturing protectiveness. It wasn’t until I finally grew up that I understood it all. The turning point that brought me from childhood into womanhood was the realization that I might really lose Alexi forever. That one moment – fleeting and frightening – was all it took to yank me out of the childhood fantasy of my youth and into the reality of adulthood. It made me finally acknowledge my feelings for him, not just to him, but also to myself.

  Most people have these pivotal moments in their lives and just don’t realize it. That moment, whether tragic or joyous, comical or embarrassing, finally pushes us over the edge into a new world. In that moment, we shed the skin of our childhoods and blossom into the adults we were destined to be. Alexi just happened to be my pivotal moment, that defining event that changed my world forever.

  Of course, none of that mattered to the other guys in my life. They didn’t care how much growing up I had done, or how deeply Alexi had affected me. I suppose they did care that I had finally found happiness, but I’m sure it offered them little consolation for the pain I caused them in the process. I will always regret that my maturation affected them so profoundly, and I wish it hadn’t taken such a toll on them.

  Max had found someone else rather quickly. Although I felt a slight twinge of jealousy, overall I was delighted he’d moved on and might have a shot at happiness without me. He was fulfilling his destiny to become a vampire hunter, and spending time with his father. He’d found a life without me.

  For Liam, the wedding was a wakeup call. He decided he wanted to be with his brother, and with me, no matter how much pain it caused him. It was uncomfortable for all of us, but it was also pleasant to have him around once again. I hoped that with time, we could become the close friends we once were, without all of the romantic stuff hanging over us like a storm cloud. Liam had become my best friend, and I desperately wanted that back.

  One thing I had come to realize over the months since I first went to high school was that life is never what you think it will be. I think life takes a look into your mind, and then paints a picture of your future timeline as the exact opposite of whatever it sees. Maybe it does that to make life interesting, or perhaps it is just to help us grow and mature as people. Or maybe there is no such thing as fate, and our lives just unfold as we go. I just find that hard to believe given what I’ve been through.

  I only wish I could have matured a little faster, and that I’d learned about my ability to charm a little sooner. Perhaps I could have saved Kai, Max, and Liam the pain. Maybe I could have prevented the disastrous consequences of the ability I didn’t even realize lurked within me – an ability that made people fall in love with me for seemingly no reason. I was certain that ability had caused people to develop feelings for me which otherwise might not have occurred – at least not as quickly and to the extent it actually happened.

  I suppose it would have saved me a little heartache, too. It wasn’t easy to deal with hurting so many people I cared about, but somehow, I couldn’t seem to stop. I was so confused, and my feelings were all muddled. There was a time when I couldn’t distinguish friendship from love. Unfortunately, it took so long for me to understand what love really means that several people were caught in the crossfire.

  In the days following the encounter with Dmitri, I tried to reach out to Kai in an effort to help him adjust to the situation. At first, he seemed receptive. He was friendly, for the most part, and we talked and occasionally joked.

  Eventually, he began to withdraw. He became distant, and even moodier than I’d ever seen him. I finally began to realize he needed some space, so I backed off. I wanted to be his friend. I wanted to care for him. But it wasn’t what he wanted.

  He spent most of his time training various combat techniques, working out, and painting. I was happy he had gotten back to painting, but I wished he would at least talk to me – or to anyone. Most
of the time, he spent all day in the gym or in training, and I didn’t see him until dinnertime, where he sat by himself for a quick meal before retiring to his room.

  Reality can be cruel. It should have been the happiest time of my life. I’d fallen in love – real love. I had someone who loved me more than life itself. I was a married woman. But a dark cloud constantly hung over my life, and it seemed there was nothing I could do to rid myself of it. It seemed as though everything I touched turned to darkness. Everything except Alexi. He was my one shining light, my beacon of hope.

  Thank heavens for Alexi.

  Chapter One

  Alexi was relatively certain Dmitri wouldn’t be coming after us too soon. He had other plans, and whatever he was up to would give us time to prepare before our next encounter. Now that he had what he wanted, we wouldn’t be in any immediate danger. At least, we hoped that was the reality of it.

  I woke up early one morning. I decided to let Alexi sleep in, because he hadn’t been sleeping well for months. He was exhausted, and he barely stirred when I got up. Over breakfast in the dining hall, Liam came to me with a proposal.

  “I’ve been thinking about something, and I wanted to talk to you about it. What do you think about me training you some more?” he asked.

  “Do you think that’s wise?” I asked. “I know I need to prepare, but…”

  “I’m fine, Alice,” Liam interrupted me. “Really.”

  I raised one eyebrow at him. I wasn’t so sure he could dismiss his feelings for me so easily, but I warily accepted, because I honestly did need to train, and he was the best person to help me.

  “Alright,” I agreed. “I do need help, and I guess it makes sense to work with someone I already know and trust.”

  Liam beamed at me, his dazzling white teeth nearly blinding me. He really could be quite charming… when he wasn’t being a complete goof.

  “Want to get started now?” he asked.

  “Can I finish eating?” I joked.

  “If you must,” he sighed, rolling his eyes and then laughing.

  I was nearly finished eating when Alexi swept into the room. He looked alarmed, but his demeanor calmed as soon as he laid eyes on me.

  “There you are,” he sighed with relief. “I was alarmed when I awoke to find you missing.”

  “Missing, Alexi? Really?” I teased him.

  He slid smoothly into the chair beside me and absently stroked my arm with his long, slender fingers. I shivered, and goose bumps of pleasure erupted on my skin.

  “Why did you not wake me?” Alexi asked, ignoring my teasing.

  “You’ve hardly slept in weeks,” I pointed out. “I just wanted you to get some rest.”

  “I do not wish to be sleeping when you are in need of protection,” he stated.

  Liam cleared his throat and said, “So what am I, chopped liver?”

  “Do not mistake me, brother,” Alexi told him. “But where Alice is concerned, I feel better when I am also present.”

  “Mm-hmm,” Liam muttered. “I get it.”

  “What is it you think I am saying?” Alexi asked.

  “You don’t trust me with her,” Liam said flatly.

  “Of that you are certainly correct,” Alexi said. “Fortunately, I trust Alice implicitly. However, I do not feel that you alone are adequate protection for her.”

  Liam scowled. “Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, brother,” he muttered.

  Alexi ignored him and turned to me. “So what are your plans today?” he asked.

  “Liam is going to start training me again,” I told him, innocently sipping orange juice through my straw. I winced inside my head, waiting for the axe to drop.

  “I think that is a fine idea,” Alexi said smoothly.

  “You do?” I asked cautiously.

  “I do,” he confirmed. “I would feel much more comfortable if you were able to defend yourself properly in the event that I am one day unable to.”

  I shuddered. “Thanks for the picture,” I commented drily.

  My orange juice loudly signaled its demise by gurgling hoarsely at the end of my straw. I wiped my mouth, tossed my napkin on the tray, and took it to the window.

  “Well, we’d best get started,” I said.

  Liam held the door open politely, and Alexi followed closely behind me, his cloak billowing dramatically behind him, as always. Liam led the way downstairs, and we located an empty classroom.

  “So what do you want to work on first?” Liam asked.

  “I’m not sure, to be honest,” I said.

  “Might I suggest something?” Liam asked.

  “Of course.”

  “Perhaps we should work on your charm ability,” he suggested.

  My face flushed pink. I shot Alexi a glance, but he didn’t appear to be concerned. He took a seat in a chair in the corner and said nothing.

  “Um… I don’t know if…” I stammered.

  “Come on,” Liam urged. “Think about it – this ability could allow you to get out of tough situations without fighting at all.”

  “He has a point,” Alexi interjected. “I think it might be a valuable ability to hone. If nothing else, you do need to learn to control it.”

  I felt my cheeks burning. “Alright, fine,” I relented. “I see your point. But I must say it’s not entirely pleasant to have the two of you gang up on me.”

  Liam snickered, and I shot him my best look of annoyance.

  “Alexi!” gasped a voice breathlessly, after the young man burst into the room. “Thank goodness I found you. You have an urgent message waiting in your office!”

  “Thank you,” Alexi said with a polite nod. He turned to me and added, “Darling, I will return momentarily.”

  “It’s alright,” I told him. “I’ll be fine.”

  He nodded and quickly breezed out of the room.

  “I wonder what that was about,” I commented.

  Liam shrugged, seeming thoroughly unconcerned.

  “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “Alexi always gets urgent messages. They’re usually only urgent to the person who leaves them.”

  “Oh,” I said, breathing a sigh of relief.

  “Alright, let’s get started,” Liam said. “I’ve never trained anyone with the charm ability – in fact, I’ve never known anyone with the charm ability. So I guess we’re both on a bit of a learning curve.” He chuckled nervously.

  “Are you sure you’re up to this?” I asked.

  “Oh, sure,” he answered. “It shouldn’t be that much different from training other abilities.”

  That wasn’t exactly what I had meant. I wanted to know if he thought he could handle his feelings for me, but I didn’t know how to say it. He must have read the look on my face, because he suddenly said, “I’m fine, Alice. Really.”

  I sighed and nodded. He shot me an encouraging grin, and I managed a weak smile. I was still quite apprehensive, but I’d already committed to training with him. How could I back out now?

  “Okay, we’re going to start off slow,” Liam said. “I want you to look me straight in the eye and concentrate on making me like you. Not love, just like.”

  “Got it,” I agreed.

  I stepped closer to him, looked up into his eyes, and tried to concentrate. I was so nervous I was trembling slightly, and I could barely concentrate. Like me, Liam, I thought. Just like me.

  “Alice, you have to stop,” Liam said suddenly, grasping his throat and staggering backwards.

  “Huh?”

  “Alice, stop,” he repeated breathlessly, backing further away from me. “Stop. Stop!”

  He collided with the wall behind him with a thud, and my concentration was severed.

  “Oh, my God,” I gasped, rushing forward. “What happened? Are you alright?”

  Liam bent forward, placing his hands on his knees. He took several deep breaths, but still looked like he might pass out at any moment.

  “Liam, are you…” I started to say, taking another step t
oward him.

  “Nope!” he snapped, throwing one hand up to stop me coming any closer. “I’m fine. Just need a minute.”

  I froze in confusion. I simply watched Liam as he continued to breathe deeply. Finally, he straightened up. His face was nearly purple, and beads of sweat were trickling down his face.

  “I’m fine, now,” he declared.

  “What happened?” I repeated.

  “Well, it worked,” he said with a shrug and a faint smile. “A little too well.”

  My cheeks burned. “Oh,” I muttered.

  “No, no, it’s okay,” he said quickly. “This is good news. It means the ability is very strong within you.”

  “I don’t like this,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t think it’s right to use this ability, and I…”

  “Alice, this could save your life,” he pointed out. “You were given this gift for a reason. It would be a waste not to use it.”

  “I guess you’re right,” I said skeptically.

  “Again,” Liam said, urging me to continue.

  “Are you sure?” I asked him.

  He nodded. “I want you to try something else, too,” he told me. “While you’re using your charm ability, see if you can get me to do something.”

  “Do something?”

  “Yeah. See if you can, you know, influence me to do something I wouldn’t normally do,” he said.

  My face fell. “What? No, Liam. I don’t think that’s right. It’s not…”

  “Alice,” he interrupted me. “This is important. I’m not asking you to use this to get your way all the time. You just need to practice it so you can use it in emergencies.”

  I wasn’t convinced. I was a big believer in free will, and to use an ability to force someone to bend to my own was reprehensible. I just couldn’t imagine doing that to someone.

  “Liam, I really don’t think…”

  Liam grabbed my shoulders and looked deeply into my eyes. I stray strand of hair fell into his line of sight, and he blew it away out of the corner of his mouth. I almost laughed, but then I noticed how terribly serious he looked.